Special Needs Parents, Its Not Your Fault

Your the mother of a sick child. There is the diagnosis, the moment your world comes tumbling down around you, leaving your stomach in knots and fear in your brain. Then, there is the life that comes after the diagnosis, and I don't want you to spend it being afraid.

I want you to be happy.

I don't know you, but I know.
I know the hurt, the guilt, the fear, and all of the other emotions.
I know the sleepless nights, the what ifs, the dreams that have been crushed.
I've been there, and I am there.

When your child is born with or develops a serious medical condition, it wreaks havoc on a parents mind. It's taxing, and I want you to just stop. Here are the three questions you need to stop asking yourself.


"What could I have done differently?" - Okay, what if you could have? Could you go back in time and change it? I will answer that for you, no! If you found out that you could have done something to prevent this, all it would cause is agony and guilt. You would be in the same situation. Please accept the ignorance as bliss.

"Why did this happen to my child?" - This may sound harsh, but I do not mean it to be. I tell myself this very frequently. NO child deserves it, not one. Take a second though, and picture your medically fragile child born to the hands of a set of parents who did not care? I know this isn't ideal, but they are loved. Love is what matters.

"Will he die?" - Death, is inevitable, whether its sooner or later. You just cannot focus on that, especially when there is so much life in front of you. Don't give death attention before it even comes. People die every day, from illness to accident. Use your time wisely, if your child lives a long life, you will have used all that time loving them with all your energy and heart. Have you ever heard the phrase "live like your dying".... well live like they are dying, like you have to shove all of your love for them into each and every day.That is something they will always have with them. Here, or in heaven. If they do pass too soon, you will know you gave them your all.


You are going through more than a lot of people can understand. Allow yourself to feel these things but don't stay stuck there. Let those bad feelings out only to allow the good in. Yes, your baby is sick, yes there are possibilities, but look at all the good you have found? Look at all of that joy, and that beautiful smile. This journey will hurt you naturally, all on its own. Don't keep contributing.